Monday, February 8th, 2016

making friends as a grown up is like peeling an onion

We’ve all given our kids advice at some point or another on making new friends.  Letting them know it’s okay to go up to someone and ask them if they can join in a game or just saying hello to kids when you move to a new school.  It seems easy enough for us to tell them what to do and most often than not, it works.  What happens when it’s about us making new friends in a new place.  This has happened to me twice – moving to Texas and moving to New York.  In both places I didn’t know anyone and being someone who likes being with other people I had to put myself out there.

As parents we do have an advantage – meeting people through school and parents of our kids’ friends.  There is that first feeling of being a bit out of place and memories of middle school may come back.  But, you have to say hello just like you told your kids.   The next step is moving from just saying hi on the soccer field or PTA meeting to really creating a friendship.  It’s almost like trying to find out who would you click with.  For me, I was lucky to have connected with great people and made some amazing friends.   It does take time to really get to know someone and so, as a grown up it may take a bit longer to really find those new friends.  It’s kind of like what one of my newer friends told me this morning at breakfast, “meeting someone new and getting to know them is like peeling an onion, you just have to do it one layer at a time”.

So, if you’re new to the neighborhood or starting a new job – step in and start peeling the onion.


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