Wednesday, April 6th, 2016

Not everyone is okay even when they say they are…

When you see someone you know the conversation normally goes, “Hi, how are you”,  “Okay” is the response and on we go.   Do we really listen to the answer and give some thought about if the person really is okay especially if they don’t look it.  Or is it more just a part of the busy life we all have and don’t really pay attention?  Let me give you one reason to sometimes stop, look at the person and when they say “I’m okay”  ask yourself, do they really seem okay.

Picking up my son from school I ran into another mom and got into the normal picking up kids conversation  – hello, how are you etc..  Her response was obviously I’m okay.   I looked at her and she seemed anything but okay – she looked completely exhausted – more than us moms usually seem.  We are all juggling so much but she looked weary and drained.  This is not a mom who I would say is a close friend but more just someone I know because of school.   But, I still kind of pushed it a bit and said “are you sure, because you don’t look that okay, you look exhausted”.   She mentioned her son hadn’t been sleeping well and we chatted for not more than 2 minutes when the door opened and kids came streaming out.

dreamstime_xs_34145046Guess what I received the next morning?  A thank you email from her.   Her exact words “I wanted to say thank you…thank you for asking and pressing how I was yesterday. I think we all move so quickly these days, that when someone says, “I’m okay”, we take it for face value and just walk away. Just hitting the surface. Thank you for not walking away :)”.   Turns out she is going through a lot with her little one being diagnosed with a sensory disorder.  I just happen to have a great friend who has 2 kids with the same disorder and has a wealth of information, support groups etc.   After chatting to each of them separately – I introduced them and they are now going to help each other out and share what they’re going through.   I’m not saying I solved a huge problem but by not just accepting the “I’m okay” response,  this mom may have one more person she can now lean on.

Sometimes being a Supermom means we have to look out for those other Supermoms as well.   Letting each other know we are not alone and sometimes taking an extra 10 seconds to really find out if someone is okay or not could make a world of difference.   It doesn’t take a lot to be more mindful, more present and more in the moment!

 

 

Posted by Posted Under: mom conversations

Comments

  1. Nahoko says:

    It means so much to be present, to be aware, and notice those who can use some support. I love the reminder to support each other! I applaud the person who opened up to you with a little prompting. I believe vulnerability increases intimacy and connectedness but it take courage to do so. Thank you for writing about the important topic of really connecting with people beyond the superficial level.