Thursday, September 22nd, 2016

How your stress impacts your kids

I know you have heard how your behavior and emotions impacts your kids but have you ever heard it directly from them?  I recently have and it was a big a-ha moment for me!  We recently went through a big change with moving once again across borders and this time the kids were older and much more expressive in how they feel.   Without going into the lengthy details of the move,  I underestimated the impact it would have on me leaving our beautiful character filled village and amazing group of friends and neighbors.   Being thrown into suburban Toronto was a shock to my system and my reservations about the move and where we were living impacted the kids.

My realization came when I was watching a movie with my very articulate 8-year-old and he said he was going to play in his room because he could feel how stressed I was and it was stressing him out.   I was in “getting everything done” mode and clearing the house of boxes to the extent that in less than 1 week everything was unpacked and our pictures were on the wall.   I was physically and emotionally exhausted and all of that was being reflected onto the kids.  So, instead of them enjoying their first week of being in a new place they were drained and miserable and started school not being in a great mood or with an energized outlook to what lie ahead.

dreamstime_xs_33193038We may think if we act like we are positive and relaxed then our kids will be okay.   The truth is they know how we really feel and the older they get, having spent more time around us, they know when something is wrong and when we’re covering up on how we really feel.   How we feel and what we do impacts them significantly.  When we are stressed they feel it even at the young age of 8.

What does this mean for you?   Supermoms need to find some time for themselves, you need to get yourself into a better state of being both physically and emotionally.   This may mean saying no to requests, having your home untidy and telling people around you that you need some time to yourself.  When we are in a better space the little people around us are in a better space too and I know that is what all you Supermoms strive for!