Sunday, November 13th, 2016

Supermoms, do you remember how to fly?

It seems like the universe is in such disarray with social media taking over our lives, kids not being able to survive without technology and we can’t find any time to just have a conversation with our friends and partners.  Maybe it is that time of the year with the Holidays near or that change has become a constant in our lives.  Either way don’t you just feel so drained?  I’ve spoken to many of you Supermoms out there and this feeling of spiraling every day and being exhausted is happening to all of us and we just take it as part of what life has become.  As you read this, I’m suggesting to you that maybe it doesn’t have to feel this way.

We are Supermoms for many reasons, one of them being our ability to use that cape of ours and fly above the rest.  I think many of us just forgot how to do it.  My suggestion is if we want to fly again and feel in control then we need to start small – can you find 15 minutes each day just for you.  15 minutes to have a cup of tea and just be in the moment. 15 minutes to journal or maybe read a chapter of a book.  15 minutes to listen to some music you love.  I know some of you might be thinking right, even 15 minutes is impossible.  If it is then why not start with 5 minutes and see how it goes.

dreamstime_xs_21614407When you get to that point where your feet start to lift off the ground, where you can almost feel the relief as you envision your cape starting to flutter,  this point will not only help you with being in a better space but it gives all of us the strength to carry on.   To carry on when we sometimes feel like we can’t even catch up.  You could be a single mom just trying to raise your kids as best as you can,  maybe you’re at a point where you need to make a decision about your relationship or it could be deciding your next career move.  It is not easy having to do any of this or even focus on making a decision when we are in a spiral and can’t find our balance and can’t fly anymore.  So, give it a try and find a few minutes each day for you and see if it helps.  What do you have to lose?

Let us not forget the woman warriors that we were born to be.   If we can manage car pools, after-school sports, leading in the board room, glass ceilings at work, as well as the laundry basket that never empties then I know we can all find a way to learn how to fly again!

 

Wednesday, June 29th, 2016

What is the “normal” family?

Firstly, there is the word “normal” – a word I constantly have a problem with.  The definition of normal is “conforming to a standard, typical, the usual”.   What I am hoping most of you would ask next is – What is standard, typical or usual?  In the world we live in there is no Leave It To Beaver family and there is nothing standard about a family.  It is time everyone realizes that there is no definition of a perfect family and all that matters is what works for you!

As someone with a husband who constantly travels and is more often than not spending weeks, and sometimes months without him not around I feel the constant questions and judgement about our family arrangement.  Yes, he is away;  yes, we miss him and yes, we are okay.

dreamstime_xs_34273318This blog piece would be too long to mention all the different types of families – same-sex parents, grandparents raising grandchildren, uncles and aunts raising their nieces and nephews, single parent homes, stay at home dads, families with diverse religions and ethnicity etc. etc. etc.   While you may think that your family environment which could be a home in the burbs, a stay at home mom, a 9-5 dad, a mini-van and a dog is perfect and ideal,  that may not be what everyone wants to defines as a their family.

All I am asking is to stop the judgment and realize there is no normal.  Just as each person is unique so is every family situation. What is important is that kids are raised in an environment where they feel safe, loved and protected.   Would I love to see my husband every day? Of course I would, but that does not mean that we don’t have a family and home that works best for us.  To all the Supermoms out there just remember that our kids mirror so much of what they hear and see from us.   Help them realize that there is no judgement in choices they make especially if their choices are what works best for them.

 

Friday, February 26th, 2016

soulmates or peanut butter & jelly?

Soulmates – for some this may create visions of Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle,  that person you are destined to meet, that fate will create the circumstances where you will see each other and so on…  Now, don’t get me wrong I am a sucker for a romantic comedy and I think Meg Ryan is great but we all do know that’s just a movie, right?

After reading up on this term ‘soulmates’, what seems to be a common thread is this concept of one person making you feel completely whole and having this eternal lifelong bond with them.   Probably like a ying yang thing.  Now, I know I probably sound like a cynic but if you’re meeting someone out of college or during college who you love enough to marry – would you know that they make you feel completely whole?  At the age of 22 do you really know what completely whole feels like?  Or, is it more what you think it feels like at that point in your life?  Here’s another thought, if everyone truly loves differently and every relationship is unique than wouldn’t what a soulmate is, mean something different for everyone?  Shouldn’t there be a definition or term for each type of relationship?

peanutbutter

So, as we wander through life with our significant others I will put it out there that yes,  we definitely know that the person we are with is perfect for us.  We wouldn’t want to be with anyone else.  I knew that when I met my husband 20 years ago and I know that now but I’m not sure I would have said my husband was my soulmate when I first met him. I’m not sure in the 20 years we have been together we have ever used the word.  Maybe that’s it – maybe the word has become too overused and very commercialized- I mean doesn’t every dating site use it?   Here’s a suggestion, why don’t you get your creative Supermom juices flowing and have some fun with your significant other in describing what would you call your relationship with each other.   Are you the ying to their yang?  Milk and Cookies?   Macaroni and Cheese? Choose something that just means you are meant to be together whatever that means to you and however that looks to just the two of you.  For me and my guy, it’s simply Peanut Butter & Jelly.

 

Wednesday, January 29th, 2014

10 signs you should invest in date night

Date night is so important, we all know it but do we make sure that we take the time and go out with our partners.  Laura Page-Hamelin posted a great list of signs that you are in need of a date night. When I read this, I found myself laughing at how true many of the points are and that my husband and I are in need of a date night!  Lische

Below is a summary of the 10 signs, you can find the full details of the list on Bloggy Moms http://www.bloggymoms.com/profiles/blogs/10-signs-you-should-invest-in-date-night#.UumFQGePJMs

10. You dread your daily routine

9. You don’t know what day of the week it is

8. You forget your partner is also your lover

7. Your jogging pants have become your “every-dayers”

6. Your children become your sole topic of conversation.

5. You are on the 4th season of a series (and you only started watching a week ago).

4. The last movie you saw in the theatre was “the Notebook”.

3. You are unaware that some restaurants require a dress code.

2. You are envious of your childless friends.

1. Finally… you can’t remember the last time you were on a date night!